Deema Soufan is a perinatal psychotherapist with extensive training in perinatal mood disorders and birth trauma. She specializes in working with pregnant and postpartum people and mothers. Deema considers herself a Feeding Friendly clinician while she works in a baby-friendly hospital. We talked to Deema about how she works with patients, prioritizes post-partum mental health, and what it means to her to be Feeding Friendly. 

‍What is the “baby-friendly” hospital initiative?

This is a worldwide program that hospitals adopt. To date, there are approximately 600 baby-friendly designated facilities that uphold philosophies around best practices in regard to infant feeding. 

I think it’s important to remember that although the baby-friendly initiative does emphasize the importance of human milk being fed directly from the breast-they also adopts philosophies around respecting a birthing person's decision to feed their child the way that they see fit.

I think it’s important to remember that although the baby-friendly initiative does emphasize the importance of human milk being fed directly from the breast-they also adopts philosophies around respecting a birthing person's decision to feed their child the way that they see fit.

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How did you feel about taking a role in a baby-friendly hospital?

When I interviewed for my current role as a masters level psychologist within a level III NICU, I was sure to address that I was aware that the hospital is baby friendly. In my experience as both a perinatal clinician and a mother who has given birth to three children at a baby-friendly hospital, I know that there is absolutely, without a doubt, a perceived stigma around formula feeding.

As a therapist, the main point that I try to drive home regarding what someone can expect when working with me or any clinician is that agency is one of the most important notions.

When I interviewed for my role, I acknowledged my awareness of the hospital being part of the feeding-friendly initiative and that for me to uphold my ethical by-laws, I will always facilitate agency-to-feed and unconditional positive regard with the families that I will be working with.

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How was this received at your institution? 

This was warmly welcomed. I will tell you that this is a no-brainer- a clinician's role is to join the client/patient and assist them with discovering what THEY want and why they want it. It is never my role to push any other philosophy on them. My goal is to ensure they feel empowered to make their own choices without outside influence.

This was warmly welcomed. I will tell you that this is a no-brainer- a clinician's role is to join the client/patient and assist them with discovering what THEY want and why they want it. It is never my role to push any other philosophy on them. My goal is to ensure they feel empowered to make their own choices without outside influence.

The relationship with breastfeeding is often times complicated. There is no debate surrounding the benefits of breastfeeding-and no one is trying to take that away. 

However, there is insurmountable evidence of the distress that exclusively breastfeeding can potentially cause. When a mom is experiencing distress surrounding feeding, I like to ask her whose voice she’s hearing in her head. This notion is so telling due to the amount of societal pressure that is projected.

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You are one of the thousands of clinicians who have taken Bobbie’s Feeding Friendly pledge to support parents in all feeding journeys without shame or guilt. How do you do that in your role? 

As a feeding-friendly clinician, I love spending time exploring what the mother wants her feeding relationship to look like and why. I spend a lot of time providing psycho-education on one’s absolute truths. In general, when a notion is black and white, our brain doesn’t do great with this. 

So many mothers are not aware that they can very successfully offer both formula and breast milk. We just don’t spend enough time providing good evidence-based information around this notion. We anecdotally see that formula, along with education and support, can extend the amount of time the mother is able to breastfeed.

The other side of this is that it is 100% acceptable to formula feed in its entirety. This can be due to a trauma history, medical history, mental health history, and so on and so forth. This is why I take the time to highlight all the ways to bond and get that healthy bacteria transfer by doing things like skin-to-skin, baby-wearing, etc. Immunity is not only transferred through breastmilk. 

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Can you describe in more detail how you engage with patients in a way that is truly Feeding Friendly? 

As a perinatal clinician, I know how stressful feeding a baby can feel. When I approach a mother in the NICU and I’m getting to know her, I don’t ask, “Are you breastfeeding?” Instead, I ask her, “How is babe being fed?” 

I strive to be incredibly mindful of how important words are and the perceived shame that can come with having to respond “no” to a question related to breastfeeding. 

I strive to be incredibly mindful of how important words are and the perceived shame that can come with having to respond “no” to a question related to breastfeeding. 

I go on to explain why I asked how the baby is being fed and why. I take my time to provide psycho-education and normalization around infant feeding and maternal stress. 

Ultimately I try to really drive home that this person has agency to feed. Whether that’s breastfeeding, including exclusive pumping, formula feeding, or combo feeding. My goal is to reduce distress and increase distress tolerance. Much of that is tied to resiliency. If we can empower mothers to feel confident in their ability to feed their infants in a way that works best for the family as a whole, we will see perinatal mood disorders decrease.

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How did you become so passionate about supporting parents in infant feeding? 

This topic is so near and dear to my heart. My youngest child immediately had to go to the NICU, and we were separated for twelve hours while I recovered from an urgent Caesarian section. A number of factors made breastfeeding challenging, despite this being my third go-around. 

This could have easily become invasively distressing for me. But it wasn’t. The first milk that my baby had was formula. And you know what? He got exactly what he needed. I recovered at my own pace and began pumping simultaneously.

Once we were home from the hospital, we switched our sweet boy to Bobbie formula, and I continued to pump and eventually feed from the breast for some period of time.

Today, my sweet nine-month-old is primarily Bobbie fed along with some pumped breastmilk. He is absolutely thriving and equally as important-so am I. 

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Deema is a licensed professional counselor and maternal mental health specialist, and educator! She holds the highest level of training available in perinatal mental health. Her three beautiful children inspire her on most days (and exhaust her on others!) Deema has a passion for making sure that mothers know that they are seen and deserve just as much support and nurture as those beautiful babies do! Read more about Deema here.

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